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Marriage is the foundation of all the future happiness. Therefore both the parties should give due consideration to their health, differences in age and their nature before deciding to accept each other as life partners. This booklet is an effort to appraise the Islamic society of sexual knowledge. The original matter has been translated from a Gujarati booklet published by Muhammadi Cultural Society of Tanga and was written by Haji Haiderali Rashid Haji. The present publishers have added some additional texts where appropriate. The translation and additions have been done in free style language. If you find any mistakes or errors that may have crept in, please contact and inform the publishers.

Dear Brother Salaam – un – alaikum The Tabligh Sub-committee congratulates you on taking the step towards married life, according to the traditions of the Holy Prophet (SAW). May Allah bless your union. Amen. Man usually tries to make his life happy and for that he needs a true guide to show him “the way to happy earthly and eternal heavenly life!” Islam is the only religion for making your life on earth and in the hereafter happy. This booklet is an attempt to inform and direct you about Islamic married life.

Abu Saeed Khudhri narrates from the Holy Prophet SAW who advised H. Ali AS. The advice given hereunder will Insha-Allah guide you and make your married life a happy one. PLEASE REMEMBER THAT WHEN ONE MAASOOM ADVISES ANOTHER ONE. IT IS PURELY FOR THE SAKE OF RECORDING THE FACT AS HADEETH FOR OUR GUIDANCE ONLY.

“O Ali! When the bride enters your house, wash her feet with water. This water should be then sprinkled from the entrance door to all corners all over the house.”
This action will stop 70000 types of problems (viz. Dependence on others) and 70000 types of blessings (Barkat) will enter the house. Both the bride and the bridegroom will be blessed with 70000 types of blessings. The bride will be safe from sickness, psychological diseases, leprosy and other bad diseases.

For at least one week from the marriage day, the bride should not be given milk, vinegar, sour apples and Coriander (“kothmir”). This is done to ensure that the uterus does not become “cold” - infertile. Intercourse, (I.C. in short), at the following times is inopportune “MAKRUH” because the child conceived as a result of the intercourse at these times is liable to have certain psychological problems or body defects.

INOPPORTUNE TIMES & PLACES FOR INTERCOURSE.
An intercourse has a soothing effect on a hot temper! (Adab-e-Mujame-at)
REMEMBER all actions IN EXCESS are harmful to your physique! Like over eating or excessive exercises etc. It is said that one drop of sperm is equal to 40 drops of life giving blood! Therefore a little restraint in intercourse every now and then may be very helpful to both the partners’ physique!
The following times are inopportune (bad) or makruh for making love or intercourse, as the child conceived from intercourse at these times may/will have the problems and sicknesses as stated.
The Holy Prophet (S.A.W.) advised Hazrat Ali A.S. that intercourse MUST NOT BE performed without wudhu, otherwise child conceived will be stingy and have no inner sight.
Hazrat Imam Ja’far-as-Sadiq A.S. has stated that “Bismillah…” (in full) must be recited before commencing intercourse; if one desires that the Satan should not accompany the nutfa (sperm responsible for conception of child).PLEASE NOTE: ALL DATES ARE ISLAMIC.
1. First and fifteenth day of a month and the last 3 nights of a month, intercourse on these dates is makruh as the child conceived from the I.C.on these dates may have insanity or psychological disorders and even the mother may have a miscarriage.
2. Zohr – Zawaal: a child conceived of intercourse at these times will be cross-eyed.
3. Avoid intercourse during the times of sunset/sunrise, especially when the sun appears yellow
4. A dumb child is the result of conversing at time of intercourse (though reciting Tasbih or Names of Allah is allowed).
5. Do not perform intercourse facing the Qibla; neither should your back be towards the Qibla.
6. Looking at the woman’s private parts during intercourse will result in a blind child. Though, looking at the private parts before/after the intercourse is allowed.
7. Making love to your wife while thinking of another woman (or being in love with another woman) will result in a transvestite child being conceived.
8. Making love in a standing position results in a child who will have urine problems – urinating in bed etc.
9. A child with 4-or-6 fingers will be conceived if intercourse is performed on the night of Eid – ul –Azha.
10. Making love under a fruit-bearing tree will result in the child conceived being a murderer, (a killer), a backbiter and a leader of tyrants.
11. Making love under the sun or while facing the sun or having the sun at your back, which will result in the conceived child being a destitute and poor and under obligations whole of his life.
12. Coition under the open sky must be avoided.
13. Performing intercourse on an open roadway (thoroughfare) brings on the curses of Allah and the Angels and the humanity.
14. Making love between the times of Azan and Ikamah (call to prayers) will results in the child conceived becoming a cruel tyrant and blood thirsty person.
15. Making love on the night of 15th Sha’aban – the child conceived will have a bad character and will have a marks/black spots on his face.
16. Avoid intercourse on the last three days of the month , as the child conceived as a result of this will be a murderer, collector of undue taxes and a helper of tyrants.
17. The last 3 nights of a month are called Tahtush-Shuaa. The child conceived from intercourse on these nights will be a cruel person assisting the tyrants and be the cause of many murders.
18. Making love on the terrace or rooftop of a house – the child conceived from this will be a dissembler, hypocrite and may introduce innovations (“bid-at”).
19. Three nights and days before embarking on a journey – the child conceived from this will be a waster of wealth and have a devilish nature.
20. The first period of the night - the child conceived will become a magician and have worldly preferences over the spiritual life.
21. Making love with a pregnant lady WITHOUT WUZU (Ablution) will result in child so conceived being greedy and having a bad character.
22. Cloths used for wiping after love making MUST BE separate for both husband and wife. If same cloth is used for both – this will result in enmity and separation between them .
23. Making love during the day and night of solar or lunar eclipse or of an earthquake or cyclones: the child conceived will have a bad character and not perform any good deeds.
24. Night of Eid – ul – Fitr… child so conceived will be a sinner.
25. Perform Wudhu or Ghusl after ejaculation - before second intercourse… otherwise child so conceived may be mad.
26. In front of small children … child conceived may/will be a rapist/adulterer.
27. From Fajr to morning (sunrise) and when the sun is setting,will become … thief
28. On the night of returning from a journey.
29. Making love with the wife’s back to the husband also (Anal – intercourse is NOT ALLOWED)
30. Night following day of Tuesday …miscarriage or child conceived will have “fits” or be mad or an abortion may occur.
31. A place where some one is awake or can see and hear you... the child will be a rapist
32. Haiz and Nifas – i.e. when the woman is in her menses. It is unlawful (“HARAAM”) to make love in this state - child conceived thereby will have leprosy and be an enemy of Ahle-Bayt, and have some defect.
33. Same prohibition of Haraam applies when the lady is passing blood (lochia discharges) after childbirth.
34. When childbirth blood and menses periods are over, intercourse should only be performed after Ghusl has been performed; or at least wudhu ablution has been made.
35. When stomach is full, the child conceived will have weak eyes and suffer from paralysis, kidney-stones, or will suffer from continuous flow of urine/ toilet
36. Refrain from intercourse in a ship.
37. It is unadvisable to perform intercourse in water.
38. Wearing a ring with name of God, Prophet or Imam
39. Refrain from intercourse when hair dye (“khizab”) has been applied.
40. During a journey – the child conceived will be a tyrant.
41. Ghusl must be performed, if emission (“ehtelam”) occurred during sleep, before you make love to your wife. Otherwise child conceived may be insane.

We now come to the wedding night. Before commencing marriage life there are certain A’amals (ritual prayers) to be done. We give you a short summary of these.

What to do on wedding night: -

The Groom is to recite 2 Rak’at namaz (units of prayer) (like Fajr – Morning prayers) with the niyyah of Sunnat. On completion recite Salawat and then recite this Dua.
Dua no. 1
Salawat
BISMILLAH…
Allahummar -zukni Ulfataha wa vuddaha wa ridhaha wa ardhini beha, wajma’a baynana be ahsane ijtemaain wa aysare eetelaafin, fainnaka tuhibbul halal wa tukrehul haraam – ( salawat ) Here the bride says Aameen.

Then the bride recites 2 rakaats of prayers and recites the above Dua in the following manner and the Groom says “Aameen”.
Dua No. 2
Salawaat
Bismillahirrahmanirraheem
Allahummarzuqni ulfataho wa wuddaho wa ridhaho, wa ardheni behi, wajma’a baynana be ahsane ijtemaain wa aysare eetelafin fa-innakaa tohibbul halaal wa tukrehul haraam.
After this both of them should sit facing the Kiblah.
The groom should put his hand on the temple (forehead) of the bride and recite the following Dua.
Dua no. 3
Salawat
BISMILLAH…
Allahumma be Amaanateka akhadhtoha, wabe kalemaateka- stah’laltoha fain kadhaytali minha waladan faj-alho mubarakan takiyyan min sheea’te Aale Muhammadin, walaa taj’al li-sh-shaitaane feehe shirkan wala nasiban.
(Salawat.)

Crave to Allah S.W.T. – be haqqe Muhammad wa Aale Muhammad A.S.- for your wishes to be fulfilled. Usually one should pray for others’ hajat and then end with your own wishes. All legal wishes (hajat) will be InshaAllah fulfilled on this night. After finishing this – the bride’s feet should be washed with water and that water be sprinkled on each corner of the house. God–willing all good luck will be yours. Pray to beget good children before mating.
Dua No. 4.
To be recited before every intercourse.
Salawat / Bismillah
… Alladhii la ilaha illa huwa badius-samawate wal ardh. Allahumma in kadhayta Minni fi hadhehil-laylate khalifatan falaa taj’al li-sh-shaitane fihe shirkan, wala naseeban wala hazzan, waj’alho muaminan mukhlisan musaffa minash – shaytane wa rijzehi jalla thanaauk- Salawat .

H. Ali A. S narrated that the following Dua should always be recited when you intend to mate.
Dua No. 5.
Salawat
Bismillah
Allahumma jannibnish – Shaytan wa jannibi sh – Shaytana maa razaktani

When you commence the intercourse, recite Bismillah before entering your mate. This is very important (as without reciting Bismillah – the Shaytan takes part in the act and accompanies the “nutfa’ spermatozoa responsible for conceiving the child. This may be difficult for some of you to believe– but the after–effects of negligence will be too sour and irreversible)

Just imagine what will the child be like when the Shaytan joins your intercourse act. It is also recommended to curse the Shaytan by saying Audhubillah – recite Bismillah and then make the entry

Dua 6
To Recite before intercourse
Salawat / Bismillah
Allahummar zukni waladan waj’alho takiyyan zakiyyan laysa fi khalkehi ziyadatun walaa nuksanun waj’al akibatahu ila khair (Salawat)

One of the tradition–narrators asked Imam Ja’far-as–Sadik A.S, “How would one know if the pregnancy is pure or if the Shaytan has been an accomplice in the act?”
The Imam replied, “One who loves the Ahle-Bayt – remains unafflicted by the Shaytan”
(The negligence of reciting “Bismillah…” could probably be one of the main reasons for today’s generation being so degenerate. Some of them are so shameless and very rude -almost like the Shaytan).

Dear Reader, It is narrated in the traditions that before commencing the act of intercourse, the husband should talk, joke and make the lady relax. Then romance her to the extent that she will be ready for intercourse i.e. she is fully aroused sexually. Only then should you commence the intercourse and may Allah forbid – if the above advice-suggestion is not adhered, and if the sexual hunger of the woman is not attended to (or if the man ejaculates before the woman is satisfied) then the consequences could be bad. If the woman is religious and faithful – then she will refrain from other outlets to satisfy herself but if the woman is not religious minded, then she will look for alternative sources (i.e. she will be attracted to other men and try to satisfy her desires elsewhere). This leads to the marital life becoming unbearable and one strays towards non-Islamic tendencies. Ultimately, this affects the whole community.
Satisfying the sexual desire of the wife is essential and compulsory on the husband. When the husband attends to his wife, this is tantamount to drawing a sword in the way of Allah and when he mates with her, his sins fall off like dry leaves (of a tree). When he goes for ablution (Ghusl) then he becomes free from sins.

• It is sunnat to have intercourse on the first night of the month of Raamadhan. • If pregnancy does not occur, the lady should wear an amulet (Ta’wiz) of Surah – Aali Imran written with Rose water. • For protecting the pregnancy and preventing miscarriage, Surah–e-Bayyinah (in Juzu’u 30) should be written with saffron (kesar) on a white ceramic plate and washed. The lady should then drink this water. • To facilitate an easy birth – Surah Inna Anzalnah should be recited. • Before the birth of the child the parents should make themselves aware of the rights of children, rights of the spouses, the Islamic laws related to the upbringing of the child and naming the child, etc. (Refer to Ahvaal-un–Nisaa, Mi’araajus Sa-adaah etc). • A pregnant lady should refrain from seeing and reading dirty novels and literature, cine film magazines etc. She should concentrate to read the holy Qur’aan and religious literature. Remember your thoughts affect the child in your womb. If the would-be mother reads the history of Prophets and Imams and good religious literature, her child will have a good personality. She should attend majlises and learn the Islamic religious edicts (masaels) instead of going to theatres, dramas and watching TV plays. “Taharat–un–Nisaa” is an important book and should be studied. Effects of Days… (Please remember that everything takes place and happens as Allah SWT wills. Things as explained hereunder may occur if so willed by Allah SWT only.) • The child born as a result of intercourse performed on night preceding the day of Monday will memorize the Holy Qur’aan and will be content with his destiny. • The child born as a result of intercourse performed on night preceding the day of Tuesday will be of staunch religious beliefs with a fragrant smelling mouth, merciful, brave and his tongue will be free of slandering. • The child born as a result of intercourse performed on night preceding the day of Thursday will be either an authorative or a scholarly. • The child born as a result of intercourse performed afternoon of Thursday will be secure in this world and the next and the Satan will always keep away from him. • The child born as a result of intercourse performed on night preceding the day of Friday will have a sweet tongue and be a priestly person. • The child born as a result of intercourse performed on Friday after Asr prayers will be famous and wise. • The child born as a result of intercourse performed on night preceding the day of Friday after Isha prayers will be a religious dignitary.

Religion of Islam has endowed certain rights to all individuals. Therefore a husband has certain rights over the wife and the wife has certain rights over the husband. The wife should be prepared to fulfill all the legal wishes of her husband. The Holy prophet (SAW) of Islam has said, “I would have ordered a woman to prostrate before her husband, had it been permitted to prostrate (make a Sajda) before another besides Allah.” Similarly the husband should endeavour to fulfill the right (jaaez) wishes of the wife to the best of his capability and if within his means, in order that the wife would not have to depend on others. It is also recommended that the husband should dress presentably and look handsome for pleasing his wife and vice versa, the lady should dress herself and beautify herself to please the husband within limits of Sheria. If the lady makes mistakes then she should be excused. Anger and misbehaviour with the wife is not proper. It is the responsibility of the husband to provide for the wife and children. One who does not do that is a wrong–doer. The house where the ladies of the house are treated kindly is a house of faith. A wife is like a prisoner (ward) of the husband. Allah SWT looks upon him kindly who treats his wife kindly. It is important for the husband to remember that the wife has come from a completely different environment and therefore it is the husband’s duty to explain the environment of her new house. He should also explain his habits and dislikes so that the lady would keep these things in her mind and try to act accordingly. In case of any mistakes occur, the husband should try to make her understand her mistake in a cool voice and avoid any quarrels. The husband and wife should understand that both have different habits and come from different environments so some adjustment is required for both parties. This adjustment period can be from one year to 3-4 years. This is a trial period for both. If each cooperates with the other then life will be smooth. If not, then the quarrels and discord will rule the day and ultimately lead to separation. Therefore both husband and wife have to be patient with each other The lady must understand that she has been married to the husband and her responsibilities, as such, are now increased. She has to obey her husband’s legal wishes and make the house a paradise (or at least a substitute of paradise). Her efforts should be concentrated towards this goal. The husband should understand that the wife has submitted her life in his hands and he is the only support in her new life. Therefore he should be kind and courteous to her. The In-laws (both mother and father–in-law) should keep in mind that their daughter- in-law is treated like their own daughter. They should have a kind attitude towards her The daughter–in–law must keep in mind that she has now 4 parents... (2 of her own and 2 of her husband), she should treat them with love and the same respect afforded to her own parents. The daughter–in–law should treat her sister–in–law like a sister and vice versa. The lady who after her marriage does not know how to live with her new family and treat them kindly is a lowly person. The bride must concentrate and make full efforts  To create a religions environment  To live with her new family in peace and love to respect her elders  To treat kindly those who are young  Obey her husband’s legal wishes. The bride should enter her new home with a spiritually holy–clean body and garments. Whereas nowadays, a lady goes to the hair-dresser and uses unclean (najis) chemicals to beautify herself and enter her new home being najis in body and spirit. Some ladies also do not care about taking Ghusl (ablution) after sexual intercourse so as not to spoil the hairstyle. Even cutex on nails prevents one from becoming clean in body. Remaining in najasat (i.e. being unclean in body externally and internally) leads towards sowing seeds of discord in the family. This unclean state of body, can lead towards the person being possessed by the devils and jinn. Therefore the bride must make sure she is clean in body and spirits when entering her new home.

Ghusl (ablution) becomes wajib – compulsory on both the man and the woman after intercourse. Therefore both husband and wife should ensure that Ghusl is done after intercourse. Ghusl be performed with the niyyah of “ Kurbatan ilaAllah” but if time of namaz has already commenced, then you may perform the ghusl with niyyat of ‘wajib’. However, if the time of namaaz is so short that you can only perform gusl and pray your namaaz , then it must be done with niyyat of wajib. Both, husband as well as wife, must urinate after intercourse in order toensure that sperm-drops remaining in the urinal tube are expelled. If they do not do this and urinate only after Ghusl, sperm drops are expelled and Ghusl will become compulsory once again. The husband must also do ISTIBRA of urine in addition to urinating. (see Note A ). Both husband & wife should refrain from eating and drinking while in the state of janabah (unclean). If hunger is so intense, then at least perform Wuzu before you eat. You may wash your hands and face. Ghusl-e-Janabah (Ritual cleansing) after Intercourse or Ghusl – can be done by any of the two methods described below. Other ghusl are also performed in the same manner.  Tartibi – Washing of the body parts one by one – as shown below.  Irtimasi – Diving in to water and cleaning the whole body at one go.

(a) Tartibi – As described above, one should urinate to expel sperm drops remaining, and for gents also do Istibra,then clean your body and remove dirt and greasiness, cutex – nail polish etc and make an intention (i.e.Niyyat ) “I am performing Ghusl–e-Janabah (Sunnat or Waajib) Qurbatan–ilallah” Thereafter wash the head and neck with the intention of Ghusl. Then wash the right half of the body with intention of Ghusl and lastly the left half of the body. Whilst performing ghusl of the right half of the body, wash also some part of the left side of the body and wash fully both front as well as rear private parts. The same will apply whilst doing the gusl of the left side half of the body. (b) Irtimasi – as described in Tartibi clean you body and remove dirt, greasiness and nail polish etc., and dive (immerse) your whole body in water with niyyat of performing ghusl in such a way that no body part remains outside of water. As described above it is essential to remove all dirt (under the nails) or on the body, greasiness, cutex - nail polish thoroughly to ensure that the water reaches all body parts, even the visible parts of the ears and lips, otherwise Ghusl becomes void. Remember – even a speck of nail polish remaining will void the Ghusl. Therefore ensure the removal of all dirt and anything that prevents water from reaching the skin and the body – before performing Ghusl.
Please Consider...

Another tendency nowadays is that the bride shows her face to the public on the marriage night, for video and photographs whereas she is supposed to show her face to the husband and remain in hijab from others. This is Islamic tradition and you should concentrate on adhering to it. The downfall of a society is due to non-adherence of its religious laws: - We are racing towards the world and thereby destructing our religious laws by following non- Islamic social values: Exhibiting our sisters and wives to “Na–mahram”, attending parties where mixed gathering take place, are these Islamic values? The ladies gathering round the bride and groom when they break a clay saucer and the public looks on to these occurrences - which Islamic sheria allows this? Would a true believer of the Imams do such an act? The Imams take part in a Mumin’s sorrows and pleasure, but what does a Muslim do nowadays. He allows songs to be played in his house thereby insulting the Imams and thus, prohibiting them from attending the gathering. (The Imams would definitely not attend a house where music and songs are played and mixed gathering parties take place). Would you expect such marriages to be auspicious?

Your wife is pregnant? Congratulations... Remember, the physical and mental conditions of parents at the time of conception have a great effect on the physique and mind of the child in the womb. The physical and mental environments, which the mother-to-be faces also, have a great effect on the foetus. Therefore it is imperative that the mother-to-be should keep her mind free of anger and evil thoughts, think of pleasant things and religious thoughts She should endeavour to wear neat and clean clothes, stay in comfortable and pleasant surroundings, at all times. Remember this is a special event in your life, but brace yourself for certain (though temporary) behavioural changes in your mate. • Although it is not prohibited to have an intercourse with your pregnant wife, but it is prohibited if it proves to be harmful to either the child or the mother. • She is undergoing certain physical and psychological changes, so her moods may vary. She may become quarrelsome and behave as if she hates you or one of the family members. This is normal; so don’t take her hatred/anger very seriously. Give her your full attention. • She may become demanding and crave for some extraordinary foods etc. (Pickles, lemons or juices, sour mangoes and so on). Allow her to eat whatever she requires. • A pregnant woman should refrain from looking at a sun / moon eclipse and from going out at those times. • Once a pregnancy is confirmed - it is not desirable to abort. This will be a sin of murdering the child on the parents. • It has been started by Ulama that preventing pregnancy by a safe means that will not be harmful to either is allowed. But if pregnancy occurs then it is not desirable to abort. Here it is to be noted that ejaculating sperm outside is not allowed (and is a sin) if the woman does not want it. Only with the consent of the woman should one ejaculate outside the vagina. • The modern means of contraception are tablets the man and woman must know that this method is not foolproof. Sometimes a pregnancy may occur and a child may be conceived with some disability and defects. • Therefore parents must consider this option carefully before using this contraceptive method.

• NOTE ‘A’ ISTIBRA OF URINE TO BE PERFORMED BY GENTS AFTER URINATING EVERY TIME.

Istibra of urine is recommended to be performed by men after urinating in order to ensure that no drop of urine is left in the Urethra – i.e. urinary canal, since without doing it there is a fear of remaining drops of urine to fall out later on the body or clothes of the male, especially with Wazee which is paak by itself but owing to not performing istibra, it becomes mixed with drops of urine thereby making the clothes and body of the male Najis and making wuzuu, ghusl and namaaz etc. baatil. There are certain ways of performing Istibra but the best of them is that after passing the urine, the portion from the anus to the root of male urine organ should be pressed and squeezed thrice with the middle finger of the left hand. Then the thumb should be placed on the top upper part of the penis and the forefinger (the finger next to the thumb ) on the top below the penis and the penis be pressed and pulled (squeezed) from the root to the point of circumcision thrice and then the circumcised part be squeeze-jerked thrice to ensure the complete expulsion of urine drops from the system. Thereafter the hand as well as the penis be made Paak (Taahir) with water (at least twice) and this is called Istinja. Needless to say that if the anus has become Najis, it should be made paak first.

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